It’s a beautiful day outside as the storm clouds that have hovered over us these past few days finally break and let the sun shine through. I’m tired and feeling a bit of overwhelm and sadness as we get closer to our goal.
Our adventure continues and while we have our eyes and hearts focused on our goal, the weariness is already setting in. We succeeded in the purchase of the land we were hoping for and our next step is to list our house. In the process of preparing for listing, we are finishing many projects that we started when we moved in and decluttering mass amounts of stuff that we didn’t have time to manage on our last move. I’ve made my way through boxes and boxes of books, memorabilia, and packed up all of my art supplies. I’ve begun to donate mass amounts of clothes that I’ve had since I worked in corporate that I really haven’t a single intention of ever wearing again. I’ve started to identify the differences between “want to keep in storage for two years” and “time to toss” items. Some of this process feels good while some of it brings up a lot of memories and it’s difficult. I do realize that this is okay, that it’s somehow healing and freeing to get rid of things I no longer need or use.
While I make my way through these activities, I am dwelling. I’m thinking about our intentions, our hopes, our fears, our plans, and our often jumbled ways of taking action. I am thinking about how we deal with change as a family and as individuals. I’m watching as we walk through this, one step at a time. Up to this point, I’ve been incredibly mindful of the energy I am giving this. I am focusing on our vision, smiling and laughing as we walk through all that needs to be done. I’m greeting my family with love and being intentional about setting aside time to live. It’s still not perfect and today, for some reason, it feels heavy.
It’s difficult to juggle the additional duties, and even more difficult to stay on top of those I do every day.
Today, I decided I need to reign it in and managed to catch up on some of the house chores, which makes it feel better in here. I’ve opened the blinds, opened to doors and windows, and I might even burn some sage.
We are snuggling up to our choice for change. Getting comfortable with all of this that is so uncomfortable. We all know it will be difficult, as we’ve done this many times before.
We also know that we’ll be okay.